“Children need models rather than critics.” – Joseph Joubert
Unless it is dangerous, I don’t yell at my kids. I may be stern, I may raise my voice, but I don’t get angry nor yell and I never abuse them, even if I threaten to turn them over to the Krampus or give them to the fairies or beat them. Because yelling doesn’t really work.
Be the person you want them to become, which is probably better than the person that you currently are. Evolve into a better version of yourself so that they can see it and try to emulate it, maybe even exceeding you.
The other week I picked my 12-year-old from Boy Scout Camp and took him to breakfast afterwards. As we were waiting to be seated he saw the collection box for a child hunger charity. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, reached into his pocket and pulled out his money, and donated it so that another kid could have food. He did this because he had seen me do things for others, no matter how tough our situation.
Model what you wish to see in the world.