“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.” –John Steinbeck
Being a parent is not for the weak-willed, and that is in the best-case scenario.
When born, a baby is defenseless and completely dependent. They can only emote to communicate, and they have constant needs and a schedule that will disrupt yours, leaving you exhausted and drained and frustrated as well as joyous. Those wonderful moments will be sporadic while sleep-deprivation and high-attention vigilance are constant, and so you will need will to make it through the first year.
At two, a toddler will be an unfetterable force, desire and willpower demanding attention and living in the present. They will constantly be in a battle of wills with you for what they want, and to grab just a moment of respite you shall be tempted to give in but that is the slippery slope to doom because they are relentless and will leverage the “just this once” into a habit. Boundaries will be consistently pushed but must be established and reinforced because it is the restraint they see and learn now that lays the foundation of their self-discipline for their entire life. Have the courage to say no and stick to your guns, so that you don’t create a twenty-something toddler for the future.
At five they are off to school, an environment beyond your control. They will make friends with other children that may or may not be good influences on them, and will have teachers that could misinterpret your child’s actions. It takes courage to allow them to commence their version of The Hero’s Journey. It takes strength to run interference with the school or to guide your child away from bad influences, to have them sit down and work on problems and to read with them to develop their desire to learn that will stay with them for a lifetime. It takes moral authority to get them to soccer when it is raining or Sunday school when the bed is warm and they were up late. The little right things require the courage and discipline that become part of their being and lead to well-being long range.
As teenagers, they are hormonal and confrontational and confused. It has been this way since the beginning and always will be. It takes courage to confront this, and to have the difficult discussions your teen needs, to give them the guidance and love and support when they question and maybe don’t love themselves as they should.
It takes courage to send them to college or the military or into the working world.
It takes courage to sit with the quiet, wondering how they are doing because of the deafening silence.
It takes courage to see them get their heart broken, or laid off, or struggling to become an independent adult.
To be a parent takes heart. And the ability to face our constant fears for our little ones and move forward with what we believe to be right, to step up out of love when we need to even if we don’t want to, that is the critical requirement of being the adult and parent they deserve.