“…to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.”
– Dave Chappelle
Those who never fail never realize their potential. Worse are those who fail and do not take the time to learn the lessons the Universe was trying to teach them.
I admit I am a stubborn, thick-headed Irishman who built his success on never giving up, whether it was in martial arts or sales or as a speaker. But sometimes when the world says “No”, you can’t just keep trying but rather need to pause and say “Why?”.
Why did that relationship fail? Where did I miss the signals, what areas was I less than good at? What could and should I have done differently so that I don’t make the same types of mistakes again? Learn the lessons or repeat ad nauseum in an endless cycle of failed relationships with the same archetype over and over.
Why did I not get the client? What additional information did I discover later that I should have uncovered sooner, that would have either led to the same result quicker and with less resources (mental, emotional, staff time, etm.) or to a better outcome for all involved?
Why am I having the same argument with my teenager over and over and over again? It just leads to frustration and slamming doors instead of a stronger relationship. How do we break the cycle so we can stop the fighting?
Athletes examine the game tape to see where they messed up and how to improve. Military groups always do an after action debrief to see what went right, what went wrong, and what do we need to change for the future. Little kids learning to walk or ride a bike fall, think for a moment, then get back up and try again but with a slight alteration. Tech companies constantly A/B test and make micro-changes to improve their algorithms and outcomes.
Learn from your mistakes or be stuck in a doomloop for the rest of your days.