“Denial is the most predictable of all human responses.” -The Architect
“I didn’t do that.” Let’s go to the tape. Yep, you did.
“I never said that.” Oh, look, a screen shot of the text you sent.
“I didn’t mean it.” Really!? Even though the pattern of behavior shows it over and over and over.
The first step in almost all self-help programs: admit that there is a problem. This is also the first step in self-directed change (in a corporation, family, or as an individual). Realizing they are not good enough, that there are flaws, is how teams go from contenders to champions. Being able to push past the self-defense mechanism of denial is critical to evolving into something better.
Addicts often don’t seek help until they have hit rock bottom and lost everything and can no longer deny the situation, whether it is them sitting in jail after driving drunk or their spouse walks out because of the cheating. When you can’t even lie to yourself anymore because everything has crashed down because of the self-sabotage is when reality hits, and hopefully change can come soon after.