“You make me want to be a better man.” – Melvin Udall

If part of being with them is not inspiring you to be a better version of yourself, you are not in love with them but merely infatuated.

Yes, the person you love should accept you exactly the way you are.  But you should look at them and know you can be better, and that doing the little things (like picking up your dishes or making sure you eat healthy to maintain a positive attitude or work hard to get more skills and knowledge and a better career position) unlocks a better version of you to share with them.  It allows you to give them a gift of the best version of you, which is ultimately a present to yourself.

It is a variation of the Stockdale Paradox (embrace the bitter truth but never give up hope) where you understand that you are good enough to be loved unconditionally, but know that you can be more than you are now.  And we as humans tend to make better decisions when it impacts another, so doing the little things to improve yourself not because they ask it of you but because you demand it of yourself so that you can be a better partner is the sign of mature and growing love.

Be better.