“Once a bad ol’ puddy tat, always a bad ol’ puddy tat.”
– Tweety
America is the land of redemption and second chances, as shown from Johnny Cash to Robert Downey Jr. But forgiveness and acceptance is for those who confess and learn from their mistakes and then change their behaviors even if they struggle to stay on the right path. We have all screwed up and made bad choices at some point. We are all flawed humans and Western Culture is built on the concept that we can atone and be forgiven.
And then there are those who are bad and will remain so.
The serial rapist who needs to be isolated from society because he can’t stop hurting others.
The convicted fraudster who gets out of jail (often after conning the authorities by throwing others under the bus and being on “good behavior”) who immediately looks for his next scam.
The adulteress having multiple affaires simultaneously while lying to everyone, most of all herself.
If someone violates your trust more than once, it is a pattern not an anomaly and they will keep doing so until they fundamentally change. You can even love them, but don’t trust them because that is where you get burned.
Some people are just bad people. Everyone deserves a second or even third chance if they were weak and succumbed to temptation and try to change, but the pattern of bad behavior with no change in the underlying belief system will inevitably give rise to more bad actions. Look deeply at yourself and others to see if the seeds of change are there, or if they will remain a bad ol’ puddy tat.